What matters most?

“Keep company with God and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.” Eph. 5:2 (Mes)


“In this life we have three lasting qualities: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love!” 1 Cor 13:13 (Ph)

How do you learn a life of deep love? The answer is found in the scripture above from Ephesians. The author says to “Observe how Christ loved us.” In the weeks ahead we will do just that. We will see how Christ loved us while here on earth. I want to give you a few things to think about this week as we start to understand how to love. Remember that without love, we will live a life with no purpose. The following will help us get on the road to becoming truly great lovers, a truly great person of love.

1. Learn how mature love acts and responds.

Personal change always begins with a change in perspective. It involves getting God’s perspective on what love is really like. Remember what is God? God is love.

2. Start your day with a daily reminder to love.

The first 10 minutes of your day sets your entire mood for the rest of the day. If you’ll get up in the morning and say, “God, I just want to remind myself that the most important thing is love. Loving You and loving other people. What matters more than accomplishments are relationships.”

3. Memorize what God says about love.

The Bible is filled with advice, inspiration, truths, principles on how to become a great lover, a great loving person. The problem is, you don’t have any of these in your mind. When you’re in a situation when you’re tempted to be unloving, to be jealous or envious or angry or impatient or judgmental or critical or any of the other unloving acts we’re all tempted to do on a daily basis – when those situations occur, because you don’t have any of those verses in your mind, your Bible is usually at home on a shelf and it’s no good in that situation. But if you will memorize a few verses of what God says about love and put them in your mind, then when you’re in a situation where you need them, God can bring them to remembrance – “Remember what I said…”

Some of you have never memorized anything out of the Bible. So when you get discouraged or when you’re depressed or when you’re angry or when you’re worried or when you’re fearful, there’s nothing for God to bring to mind. So you don’t have anything that God can use because your Bible is setting at home on a shelf. You need to memorize God’s word. The Bible says, “Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against Thee.”

4. Practice acting in unselfish, loving ways.

Love is like a muscle. The more you use it, the more it develops. Practice makes perfect. How many of you were expert drivers the first time you sat behind a wheel? None of you. In fact the first time you got in a car to drive, it felt quite awkward. You didn’t know how much to push on the accelerator. You didn’t know how much to push on the brake. You didn’t even know how to adjust your seat probably, adjust the mirrors. When you had to make a major turn, you thought, “How do I do this? How do my hands go?” It felt very awkward and unnatural. So you began to practice driving. The more you practiced, the better you got at it. Now it’s second nature. You don’t even think about it. You drive and talk on the cell phone or answer e-mail or put on your makeup or a dozen other things. It’s second nature. You don’t even think about it any more.

When you want to become a great lover, a truly loving person, you have to intentionally do some things that seem awkward at first. They don’t fit. They don’t seem natural. But if you’ll practice, the more you practice, the more it becomes second nature and you become a genuinely loving person. By the way, there are no natural lovers. It’s all learned through practice.

5. Get support from other loving people.
You only learn it in connection to others, in the context of community, in the environment of relationships. Get involved in a LifeGroup at Grace Harbor!